Iāve seen and heard the fuss going on about this film for some time and I was remarked by how persuasive the trailer was. I even saved it for a rainy day, literally, the film to match the mood of the day, somewhat. Unfortunately, to put it bluntly, it was so bad I had to apologise to my partner for putting it on.
The opening scene fed me with so much information combined with obscure āartisticā fast-paced angle shifts, I felt ill, sure why not throw in some terrible openers and cringeworthy dialogue by the entire cast I caught myself rethinking my eagerness to watch it, following the script which was perhaps improvised, it eventually sank as the thought sparked itself ablaze in the front of my mind, it ran itself down my back and I felt cold all over, physically ill āthis movie is badā. Now Iām not here to poke fun or make jest unnecessarily as a bad movie, bad movies come and go every day. Bad movies a dime a dozen, in my opinion thereās 98% more bad movies than there are decent movies, no, Iām writing this because I was so abundantly mislead and lied to it felt like a criminal offence, and this is my justice. I however will take some responsibility, there were enemies at the gates, and I let them in.
āPresenceā is lead by no one, except perhaps a walking personification of a sexually frustrated beta-male beer gut droning itself around from scene to scene. The rest of the characters from the āfamilyā feels like a random combination of people who happened to be at the local gas station that morning, lifeless loveless chemistry between all, from a checked-out Lucy Liu, throw in two iPad kids who think the art of āactingā is just simply exaggerating words no matter the context. Are they supposed to be in high school, theyāre literally adults? The wide camera angles are used to PROBABLY help us visualise what the āPresenceā sees from itās perspective, serving as a constant reminder of the presenceās presence, it would be clever if it didnāt instead make the house feel like a farce, a lifeless hollow-walled showroom, something the characters have in common with dialogue so bland I was actually waiting for someone to yell āline?ā. Did the test shots somehow work their way in the final cut? God, I am so over the āAmerican accentā. Regrettably I pushed through, thought there could be a good story in this if I kept on going, as I lied to myself wading through the slang words that arenāt and have never been a thing, could this have been written by ai? No, ai would have deleted itself soon after spitting this out. Iām so mean, but yeah I am convinced the writer was held a gunpoint.
The stories plot is actually good, predictable yet original. Iāve forgotten everyoneās names and I cant bring myself to google it (there can be no further traces of this stale hell showing up in my algorithms) so forgive me when I say - the creepy blonde kid (Todd from Breaking Bad mf) has to be the star of the show, by that I mean he was the hardest to watch, incredibly lacklustre given his role to play. I eventually got bored of cringing I just sat in disdain and disappointment expecting it to get worse, as it did. Have you ever feel like youāve stepped off the map into the unknown, like your whole soul left the known world behind - my reaction to that ending. With a cackle I turned it off before the credits began to roll as fast as paper thin glass could shatter, like entirely shatter, some how. āDonāt question itā I murmured. In all my pissed-offery I found myself here, writing this hate letter, maybe something good can come from this. This review will serve as a reminder to myself that sometimes, every now and then, I am breathtakingly wrong.
With all this being said, the promo poster is seriously top tier design work 5 bones to whoever did that, real nice.
